Pie #8- Washington Apple..."perfect is in the eye of the beholder"

I heart Washington State

I didn't mean to take such a hiatus from blogging, but here it is over two weeks since my last post! Woops. I wouldn't of had anything interesting to post anyway, as a few weeks ago, I put myself on a for reals-no foolie diet....oh- pardon me, I mean *lifestyle change*....sniffle. I need either a hug or a huge beer and a cheeseburger. Or both. It was definitely time to trim down between the summertime BBQ meat-fest and the holiday smorgasbord. I've been jogging and taking pilates classes like a mother fucker. And I swear to god if I have to look at another boneless-skinless chicken breast I'm going to fucking shoot myself.

I've lost 15 pounds.
I need PIE.



So heres the deal with my apple pie. I've been tinkering around with this recipe for close to 8 years. I've tried variations on the spices, amounts of sugar, and most important: the apple varieties. What I've come with is a perfect apple pie for my taste. You may have a differing opinion on what "perfect" means in an apple pie, so don't give me that stinky eye ball if you don't like lemon zest, or feel that an apple pie without allspice is a crime against humanity.



These are my requirements for a perfect apple pie:

1. Use a blend of apples. Mostly a firm, tart apple (granny smith or newton pippin) and a few sweet apples that soften a bit more after baking (such as a jonagold or a braeburn). The sweet apples will soften to almost a sauce like consistency while the tart ones will retain both their shape and a slight crunch.

2. 86 the butter. I know. Crazy. This is my one and only fruit pie recipe that has no butter in the filling. Personally, I think the apples taste brighter with out it.

3. Once you have tossed the apples with the sugar, spices, and lemon juice. Let it sit for about 15 minutes before filling your pie shell. This will eliminate the dreaded gap of space between the baked top crust and the filling.

4. Starch should be minimal. Apples are full of pectin.

5. Add both lemon juice (as per usual) and zest. It brings the apples alive.

6. Easy on that sugar, bucko. I really really really hate apple pie that is too sweet. Really.

7. My spices of choice are cinnamon, clove, and nutmeg. I have tried just about every baking spice out there for this recipe and these, ho-hum as they may sound are my favorites. You may feel differently, and that is between you, your pie, and your god.



Now that I have indulged in a much needed dose of fat and sugar, I am feeling much less bitchy...and more in the mood to blog. Break is over, I promise!

Apple pie filling

3# tart apples (granny smith or pippin)
1# sweet apples (braeburn or jonagold)
2 Tb lemon juice
zest of 1/2 of a lemon
2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 tsp cornstarch
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg- freshly grated
1/8 tsp ground clove
1/4 tsp salt

Peel and core the apples. Slice into 1/2" slices and toss with the lemon juice and zest. In a small bowl, stir together the sugar, starch, salt, and spices. Toss with the apples and let sit for 15 minutes. Fill unbaked pie shell, apply top crust, and bake.

Pie #7- Peach, as promised

Apologies for taking so long to get this baby posted, I seem to be suffering from lack of hours in the day-itis. Not to mention, I'm trying to get my ass into the gym regularly these days to pay for the summer-long shmorgisborg of bbq'd pork products and booze. Sitting on it editing pictures of pie seemed counter intuitive to my efforts.

Having said that, this pie is too good not to share before the peach's cruelly short season is over. Yeah, it's a little bit of an ugly duckling. It doesn't have the vibrant colors or cut into a tidy slice like some of the others, but the flavor is worth over looking those superficial aesthetic-only qualities.

This is pretty much your all purpose, unadulterated peach pie recipe- meaning unfucked with by mace. I do not care for spices in my peach pie. In fact, it pisses me right off. If ruining peach pie is a behavior that you are into, by all means, add mace. It's a free country. Just don't come crying to me when the delicate peach flavor is besmirched by the taste of metal.

Another thing I don't do is boil the peaches to peel them. I cuss enough already. Making peach pie is a folksy, grandma-like activity. Calling the slimy peel that doesn't seem to "slip right off" after the blanching process a stupid cocksucking mother fucker totally inhibits my pie making chi.
Instead, I invested in an 8$ serrated peeler- a tool that I adore.

Peaches, peeled without angst.

Also- peach peels are full of flavor. I squeeze the juices from the peels into my pie filling to pump up the deliciousness. Just let the peels fall into a bowl (see above), then pick them up and squish the life out of them.

Extracted peel juice. Rich in peachly goodness.

My last piece of advice is, as always, use the best quality fruit available- or don't even bother. I know I say this all the time, but it's the golden rule for good pie. For Northwest readers, look for Pence Orchard peaches out of Wapato, WA. They're huge, freestone, and juicy.
...And don't worry about the fact that it's kind of hideous looking.

Peach Pie

7 large peaches
2 Tb fresh lemon juice
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup cornstarch
1/4 tsp salt
2 Tb cold unsalted butter, cut into cubes
your favorite pie dough- enough for a 9" double crust pie

In a small bowl, whisk together the sugar, starch, and salt. Set aside. Peel the peaches. Squeeze the juice from the peach peels into a large bowl. Slice the peaches and toss with the reserved peel juice and lemon juice. Add the dry ingredients and stir gently with a spatula until the dry ingredients are absorbed.
Place filling into bottom crust and dot with butter. Brush over hanging dough with water and adhere the top crust. Fold the edges under and form a crimped pattern. Sprinkle with sugar and bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes. Turn heat down to 325 and bake for 30 minutes.

Pie # 6 - Pacific Northwest Blackberry. Almost as good as my Mamo's.

Sick of looking at paused you tube videos when visiting my blog? Thinking- "hey Pie Lady- how about a fakking PIE?"

Yeah. I hear ya. It's time.

It's the height of blackberry season here and it's been a good'n this year. Last year's blackberries were kind of a bummer. I don't know why, but they were just sucky and flavorless. Which made for shitty blackberry pie. I was getting all down on myself, wondering why my Mamo's (my grandma) berry pies were so much better than mine.

I tried again this year and felt better about my skillz. Mamo's pie is still better than mine (could be the crack she puts in the pie filling?), but mine is a noble second place. It wasn't my recipe last year, but the crappo berries. This years beautiful pickings have resulted in beautiful pie. So, in short- use delicious berries or don't f'ing bother.


I hate to be a tooter of my own horn, but THAT looks goddamn DELICIOUS.
Just sayin.


Locally grown Lovelies

Britt's Blackberry Pie

2 1/2 # blackberries
3 Tb freshly sqwozen lemon juice
1 cup sugar (add a couple tablespoons if your berries are really tart)
2 1/4 oz cornstarch (about 7 Tb)
1/4 tsp salt
2 T unsalted butter, cut into cubes

Enough of your favorite pie dough for a double crust. Here is my all butter recipe if you want it.

I'm thinking recipe instructions with pictures would be a delight, don't you?

Toss berries with lemon juice, then gently, Gently! fold the dry ingredients into the berries.


Fill your pie shell and dot with butter. Mmmm Hmmm, But-tah!


Apply the top crust and fold the edges under.

Crimp the edge.


Slice in some steam vents, sprinkle with sugar, then bake: 375 for 45 minutes, turn down heat to 325 and bake 25 minutes more.


Slice and enjoy. Nom Nom Nom.


Don't forget a scoop of just-churned vanilla ice cream. I knew you wouldn't.

Pie #5- Little Mango Pies with Brown Sugar-Grand Marnier Ice Cream

It's been waaay too long since I royal foodie jousted. I just have to say this- don't hate me- but the term "foodie" kind of grates on my nerves. I don't blame people who use the word. It's whoever came up with it who'd ass I'd like to kick. I know I'll probably receive hate-mail for that, but it's my blog and I can say whatever I want.

You know what I love though? I LOVE Jenn, the Leftover Queen (who is recently married to the leftover King, Roberto- they are such a gorgeous couple. Their kids will be so hot) and her forum, where the monthly royal foodie joust occurs.

Last month's winning entry, submitted by the hilarious and fowl Michelle at Thursday night smackdown will be hard to follow. But she picked some pretty awesome ingredients for us to work with this month: Mango, Cardamom, and Brown Sugar- as well as the instructions "I want to see your mad pastry skillz".

Here ya go Michelle. I have submitted a very pie lady entry:

Little Mango Pies with Brown Sugar-Grand Marnier Ice Cream

The hands-down best part of this dessert was the ice cream. I must try it with chocolate cake some time. Making new discoveries for my dessert menu is one of the main reasons why I participate with these events. I'm thinking a scoop of this atop a warm flour less chocolate cake would be pretty orgasmic. Don't you?

Pie Dough:

1 cup pastry flour
4 oz cold unsalted butter, cut into cubes
1/2 tsp sea salt
2 T vodka
2 T ice water

In a food processor, pulse up the butter with the flour and salt until butter is the size of peas. Add the water and vodka and pulse briefly until flour is moistened. Dump contents out onto a work surface and frisage into a disc. Chill overnight, or for at least 3 hours.
Roll chilled dough out on a lightly floured surface and cut into 6 4 inch circles (I used a cookie cutter). Chill dough circles until ready to use.

Mango Filling:
2 ripe mangoes
1 T fresh lime juice
3 T sugar
1/4 tsp ground cardamom
1 tsp cornstarch

Cube up the mangoes and toss with the remaining ingredients.



don't forget to gnaw on your mango pit. And don't forget to floss afterwards

Assembly/Baking:
Ease the dough circles into small muffin tins (no need for pan spray- there is enough butter in the dough for it to release on it's own). Divide mango filling amongst the dough-lined compartments. Bake at 400 for 15 minutes. Turn oven down to 350 and continue baking for 35 minutes.

Ice Cream:

2 cups whole milk
1 quart heavy cream
1 1/2 cups dark brown sugar
12 egg yolks
1/2 tsp sea salt
2 oz grand marnier

Whisk together the yolks and salt in a large bowl and set aside.
In a large pot, combine the brown sugar with the milk and cream. Heat slowly, stirring occasionally to dissolve the brown sugar. Once sugar is dissolved, turn heat up and bring to a boil. Slowly temper into the yolks. Return mixture to the pot and continue cooking over low heat, stirring constantly with a heat-proof spatula, until mixture thickens. Strain into a container and place in an ice bath to chill. Once cold, stir in the grand marnier and churn in an ice cream maker according to manufacturers instructions.

Pie #4- Apple Quince: Flavors of the Pacific.....

Asian Pacific quinces team up with Pacific Northwest Apples

You guys didn't think I would hold out on you just before the peak of pie season, did you? You did, didn't you. Oh, ye of little faith, I know it's been a while since The Pie Lady has defended her title, but I would never abandon my readership before the holidays without at least a couple of pies for inspiration.

So, I am presenting you with my all time favorite. This is a bold statement. Choosing my favorite fruit pie is like choosing a favorite pet I've had over my lifespan. They are my babies and all of them are dear to me. You know when I crown a pie "favorite", that something about it is special.

Quinces can be spotted on many food blogs these days, and this is likely not to be the only apple quince pie you've seen. I can tell you that this one has been tested time and time again, and has a surprising taste. The quince is native to Asia and is related to both apples and pears. It's really fragrant and if uncooked, horribly bitter. After about 30 minutes cooking time, the bitterness dissipates and the floral and honey notes that are in the fragrance of the fruit come out it it's flavor as well. As a lucky bonus, the fruit also turns a gorgeous pink color and leaves behind a rosy, full flavored syrup....cocktails anyone?


The Asian quince will be crossing the pond...or Pacific Ocean, to the Pacific Northwest to snuggle up with some Washington apples. They packed a little treat in their carry on. Chinese 5 spice (which is a blend of cinnamon, anise seed, cloves, ginger, and fennel seed)-a staple in Asian cooking, separates this pie from all of the others in my arsenal. It wakes up the apples and fits right in with the quince, joining both fruits together in holy pie matrimony. Never, has a spice, so made a pie.



The choice of which apples to use in a pie is a controversial one, so I'll leave that up to you. It should, however be a blend of 2 apples. One should be tart and firm- I use granny smiths, and the other should be sweet and tend to soften more when cooked-I like Braeburns. They don't turn to complete mush and have a full, sweet flavor. The quinces must be poached ahead of time. They are a much firmer fruit than apples so by the time they are cooked, the apples have turned to sauce. Blegh. The good thing about poaching the quince first, is that once they are done cooking in the syrup, they will not continue to cook in the oven. I love the control that gives me. It makes me drunk with power...or maybe thats my quincemopolitan (see below). Another reason pre poaching is the bees knees: sadly, when quince is baked raw under dough, the don't turn that beautiful blush color. They just kind of look like apples. Pre poaching pumps up the color.

Raw Quince

Poached Quince

Apple Quince Pie
1# sweet apples (such as braeburn, jonagolds, or Macintosh)
2# tart apples (such as granny smith or newton pippen)
poached quince* drained (save the syrup!)
2 T quince poaching liquid*
2 T fresh lemon juice
1/3 cup sugar
pinch sea salt
3/4 tsp good quality Chinese 5 spice
2 T cold unsalted butter
enough of your favorite pie dough for a double crust 10" pie
(Follow this link for my all butter pie dough)

Peel, core, and slice the apples. Toss with the lemon juice and the poaching liquid. Add poached quince and stir gently to combine. In a separate bowl, whisk together the sugar, salt, and 5 spice. Add to fruit and toss to combine. Mound fruit into a dough lined pie plate and dot with butter. Moisten the overhang with water and apply the top crust. Seal the edges, trim excess overhang, and form into a crimped pattern. Slice a few steam vents in the top and sprinkle with granulated sugar. Bake at 375 for 45 minutes. Rotate, lower heat to 325, and continue baking for 30 minutes.

Poached quince

5 quinces
3 cups water
2 cups sugar
1/2 vanilla bean, split and scraped

Peel, core, and slice the quince. Dissolve the sugar into the water in a pot. Add the vanilla bean and bring to a simmer. Drop in the fruit and let cook on low heat for about 30 minutes. The liquid should be at a constant simmer, and use a plate to keep the fruit submerged. Let cool in the syrup. Drain and reserve the syrup for flavoring the pie and for the cocktail I will show you!


BUT WAIT!! Don't go anywhere!! Why not wash down that tasty pie with a "Quincemopolitan"? Two posts in one my friends, for it is Blog Party time, which is hosted every month by Stephanie of Dispensing Happiness and she has picked Fusion as our theme for November. For this virtual cocktail party, I am taking that pink nectar from the poached Asian quince, and fusing it with a New York cocktail made famous by that one show that I've never seen and don't think I'd like. But, I do like the drink. The bartenders serving them at my sister's wedding party can attest to that...Wow. I drank a lot that night.....they just go down so smooth!

Anyhoo, here ya go. Take this recipe and have a jolly old time. I'll be taking it to the blog party were we will be chasing fusion inspired bite sized appetizers with zany cocktails like this one. Check out the round up on Stephanie's blog on November 17th.

2 1/2 measures good quality vodka
1 measure cointreau
1 measure fresh lime juice
2 measures quince poaching liquid *see above
shake with ice and pour into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a cherry and a slice of lime.

Retro Recipe Challenge #9 "The Candy Man"

My retro offering to The Candy Man: Whoopie Pies


When I saw the big picture of Sammy Davis Jr. on dolores' blog announcing the theme of this month's Retro Recipe Challenge, which she is hosting, I knew I was going to have to be in on this one. Not only is the super cool Sammy Davis our spokes model for the event, but the theme is something I am somewhat familiar with. Sugar! Yup, in honor of Halloween, Dolores has picked "the candy man" for October. Rules: The entry must be from a dessert recipe published before 1980.

A while back I picked up Betty Groff's Pennsylvania Dutch Cookbook which is filled with all sorts of recipes for RRC's. For full disclosure, the book was actually published in 1990, but contains a collection of non-revised "hand-me-down" recipes from generations of cooks from Lancaster County, home of the Pennsylvania Dutch community. This book is chock-full of good old, hearty farm cooking. Including Whoopie Pies. "Perfect!" declared The Pie Lady.



A Whoopie Pie is basically a fluffy, white frosting-like filling, sandwiched between two discs of chocolate cake. No one really knows exactly who came up with the first one, though it is rumored to have been born in the 20's in Massachusetts. Fillings can range from store bought marshmallow fluff, to light meringue based buttercreams. My whoopie would be the latter.

I followed Groff's recipe, for the most part, to the letter. My only revisions are substituting unsalted butter for any margarine or shortening. Recipes written in times of yore are sometimes a little difficult to follow. It seems like they are rarely as precise as modern ones, so ones sixth "kitchen" sense is required when working with them. This one is no exception. Several key instructions are missing, such as the necessary temperature of your ingredients. That is why these retro challenges are so fun! They're challenging!! Anyhoo- I'm posting the recipe as written, but if you have any questions, feel free to post them as comments and I'll be happy to answer them the best I can.

Whoopie Pies

1 cup shortening or Margarine........(use butter instead, you won't be sorry)
2 cups granulated sugar
2 large eggs
3 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup unsweetened cocoa
2 tsp salt
2 tsp baking soda
1 cup buttermilk
1 cup hot coffee

Filling:

2 egg whites
1 T vanilla extract
1/4 cup milk
2 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup all purpose flour
1 cup vegetable shortening
1/4 pound butter

Cream the shortening* and sugar together in a large mixing bowl. Beat in the eggs, one at a time. In another bowl, sift the flour with the cocoa, salt, and soda. Gradually add this to the creamed mixture alternating with the buttermilk. Mix in the hot coffee. Drop the batter in spoonfuls onto greased cookie sheets, spacing them about 3 inches apart. Bake in a preheated 375 degree oven for 8 minutes. Store on wax paper until all the cookies have been baked.
For the filling, beat the egg whites until fluffy. Gradually beat in the vanilla, milk, sugar, and flour. Add the shortening and butter (Brittany sez: butter should be @room temp.) and beat until very fluffy. Take one cookie and spread a generous tablespoon on the flat side. Top with another cookie; they should look like yo-yos. They freeze well if wrapped individually.

*or unsalted butter, at room temp.

Final Verdict: Well....the cake part is really good, and stays nice and soft when frozen. I used good cocoa powder, and butter. The filling reminded us of a the middle of a hostess cupcake. To the husband, with his effed up taste in desserts, that was just fine. I would have preferred a simple, but delicious buttercream. I would absolutely make these again using different variations of icings and spreads. They are basically just tasty and portable little cakes which can be filled with whatever your heart desires. Smear them with ganache or nutella for a decadent whoopie. Cut the sweetness of the chocolate with dollops of creme fraiche of whipped cream for a lighter whoopie. The possibilities are endless, which makes me glad that I have leftover cake discs.

Be sure to check out the Candy Man round up On October 31st to see all the cavity endusing entries!

Pie #3: Tom Thumb's Plum

The fact that Adam asked me if I had ever made plum pie on the exact same day that Frank dropped by to give me 20# of Italian plums from his tree is one of those serendipitous coincidences that one is rarely blessed with. Adam didn't know that Frank was coming, and Frank wasn't sure if I could use the plums. It was luck and good timing that led me to coming up with this pie, which knocked my socks off the second I tasted it.
Adam, the sous chef at the restaurant is one of my favorite guys to bounce ideas off of. He's a great chef who grew up on a farm in Michigan. His knowledge of produce is extensive, and being that he's not a northwest native, things like wild mushrooms, seafood, and huckleberries get him all giddy. It's a joy to work around. We were discussing the Italian plum, which at the moment, are hanging impatiently from neighborhood trees all over Seattle, when he brought up that nursery rhyme....the one with Tom Thumb. Neither of us could really remember much about the story. Only that it involved a plum pie, and something to do perhaps with Tom sticking his thumb in it? Anyway, I had never made a plum pie, nor even seen a recipe for one. About an hour later, Frank, our resident green thumb showed up at the back door in his overalls...always a good sign. That means he's been picking and I get to reap the benefits of his labor!! Frank made my day with six baskets of beautiful Italian plums. Right away, I got crackin' on that pie.

I wanted to really focus on the flavor of the fruit...as I always do with pie. I'm not big on blended fruit pies, or pies with busy fillings. For me, pie is a way to showcase a particular fruit in the height of it's season. I try not to go overboard with spices or sugar either. Perfectly ripe fruit needs very little embellishment. When one takes a bite, the first thought in their head should be "Peaches!" or "Cherries!", not "Sweet! and nutmeg...and I think I taste blackberries too". That being said, most fruit pies need just a little something to pump up the flavor. My blueberry pie has a little ground ginger in it. Not so much that it's over powering, but just enough to enhance the berries and bring them alive on your palate. In the case of Italian plums, I turned to two flavors that attach beautifully to them; a splash of Armagnac and just a pinch of cinnamon.


The Italian plum's soul mate....

Plum Pie

1 recipe of your favorite pie dough (or see the cherry pie post below), must be enough dough for a double crust pie
3# Italian plums
2 T fresh lemon juice
1 oz. Armagnac or brandy (optional, but recommended!)
2/3 cup granulated sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
pinch sea salt
1/3 cup cornstarch
2 T cold unsalted butter

Wash the plums well, then pit and slice into quarters. Toss with the lemon juice and Armagnac. In a separate small bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients and stir into the plums. Let the fruit sit while you roll out the bottom crust. Fill the crust with the fruit, then cut the butter into small cubes and scatter them across the fruit. Roll out the top crust, place it over the fruit, and adhere it to the bottom crust. Trim the edges, tuck them under, then form into a crimped patters. Slice a few steam vents on top of the pie, then sprinkle with more granulated sugar. Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes. Turn heat down to 325 and bake for 1 hour.

I think this has inched it's way to the top of my list of favorite pies. The cinnamon is just right...barely there, but still doing it's job. I doubt many tasters could detect the Armagnac, but they wonder what it is that gives the pie that delightful warmth. I have now found a new way to celebrate fall's arrival, thanks to a man dedicated to harvesting his fruit trees before the birds do it first, and a nursery rhyme.