Has it really been over a month?

First in the archive of neglected recipes I've been meaning to blog- Fresh blueberry tart

Woah- sorry faithful readers (all 3 of you)! Between my last post bemoaning the shitty weather and now, summer actually decided to happen for us here. I guess sitting at home in front of the computer was pretty low on my priority list. My apologies. Lucky for you all, I am trapped indoors with a narsty cold.

Usually when I'm sick, I choose to lie on the couch and watch all the crappy girl movies that Trevor will never watch with me. Here's the problem though. Trevor is like, REALLY good about chick flicks- just as long as they're decent movies. He loves Working girl and Steel Magnolias as much as I do. So on sick days, I rent the "no chance in hell" movies. Today's titles were The Notebook and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I don't know why I do this to myself. Those are two of the shittiest movies I have ever seen in my life. Well- The Notebook has Ryan Gosling going for it (especially towards the end with his hot little beard), but that aside, it was a crapfest. I would say live and learn, but I know I'll just repeat my errors next time I'm sick.

After some sufficient loafing time, It occurred to me that I haven't posted in ages and there are piles of recipes and pictures I've been meaning to share with you all. Here is one of my favorite uses for the blueberries that are in season and lovely right now- Fresh blueberry tart. It's on my menu right now with a dollop of barely sweetened greek yogurt (I whisk in a teaspoon or two of vanilla bean sugar) and lemon-lavender creme anglaise. It's a recipe that I vaguely remember jacking from Martha Stewart, but when I went to her book to confirm that, I couldn't find the recipe. So I dunno. Maybe it's hers, maybe it's not. Now it's yours.


**By the way- my little sister, who is totally not even fat, has started a blog of her own to chronicle her way through a diet her and her boyfriend are on. The recipes are actually really awesome and not "diet-y", but they do happen to be good for you. Unlike my recipes. I highly recommend clicking here to check it out.**

Fresh blueberry tart

1 10" pre-baked pate sucree tart shell, or 10 individual shells

2# fresh blueberries
6 oz water
2 T fresh lemon juice, strained
7 oz sugar
1/4 tsp salt
3 T cornstarch
1 tsp ground ginger

Greek yogurt- the new whipped cream. Vastly superior in every way.

In a small bowl, whisk together the sugar, salt, cornstarch, and ginger.
Pick through the blueberries and remove any stems. measure out two cups, then set the rest aside in a large bowl. In a saucepan, bring the water and lemon juice to a boil. Add the 2 cups of berries and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until berries begin to burst (takes a minute or two). Add the dry ingredients and cook, whisking constantly until sauce is thickened and translucent. Remove from heat and fold in the remaining fresh berries. Spoon filling into prebaked tart
shell(s) and chill.

Brittany (as in France) Butter Cookies

I have this ghetto cookie cookbook that materialized in my collection. I have no idea where is came from, and it certainly isn't one I would make a point in purchasing. It is simply titled "Cookies", and is one of a series of books from The Cook's Encyclopedia. I was dusting my bookshelf today (yes! DUSTING. I was shocked too.) when I stumbled upon it. I started flipping through the book and came to the decision that it was a piece of crap and it needed to be donated. Then I saw Brittany Butter Cookies.



My name is Brittany and I like butter. I am also ardent supporter of cookies. I put down my dust rag and took off the protective bandana wrapped around my face like a gas mask (yeah, it's been that long since I last dusted) and wondered into the kitchen to bake these.

side note- as I type this post, it is 50 degrees and pouring down rain. I need cookies to counteract the seasonal depression that is rapidly setting in. Any one thinking of moving to Seattle should keep that in mind.

This is a really simple recipe for what turned out to be a beautiful little cookie. Similar to shortbread, but much richer- and a great canvas for showing off a good quality European butter. Sadly, all I had was plugra, a butter that is made in the US (Wisconsin, I believe), but snootily parades around like Euro butter. The "Madonna" of butter, if you will. If you have a kick ass Normandy or Irish butter sitting around I suggest you put it to work and make these. They're especially good with a dollop of jam and a cup of tea.

And such a breathtakingly beautiful name.


Butter. Sweet, glorious butter.

Brittany Butter Cookies
adapted from The Cook's Encyclopedia of Cookies
makes about 18 cookies

3 egg yolks
1 1/2 Tb milk
1 cup + 2 Tb all purpose flour
1/3 cup sugar
4 oz butter*
healthy pinch of kosher salt (my addition)

*recipe did not state the temperature of the butter. I suggest cold from the refrigerator, but sightly softened (let stand at room temp, cut into cubes for 10 minutes or so)

Mix about 1/2 Tb of the egg yolks with the milk in a small bowl to make a glaze. Set aside.

Sift the flour and sugar into a bowl. Add the salt and mix together with a whisk. Add the egg yolks and butter (in the center of the bowl) and work the two together with your hand until it becomes creamy.
Gradually bring the flour into the middle of the bowl until it all forms a slightly sticky dough*


*This takes a while and I don't see why it couldn't be done in the food processor. But these are "folksy cookies"- enjoy the zenfulness of kneading.*

"OM"
Achieve baking nirvana. Get up in there and knead

Stop kneading when you have a lovely yellow blob like this.

Using floured hands, pat out the dough to about 1/4 inch thick** and cut out using a
2-1/2 inch cutter.

Transfer to parchment lined sheet pans and brush each cookie with the egg-milk glaze. Using a steak knife (or whatever), score to create a lattice pattern.

**They're really taking the whole rustic farm cookie thing a step too far with this. The cookies will turn out much better if you behave like upright man and use a rolling pin**

Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes (Mine took 17 minutes. but I despise under baked, anemic looking, shithole pastries).

with last year's strawberry freezer jam. The odds of my being able to make a batch this year diminish one blustery day after another.
Sniffle.

Cool on a wire rack, then enjoy on their own. Or if you are living in an area that summer forgot about, have some tea and jam as well.


Percy got into some butter and is now wondering why the fuck he has to eat kibble while humans lavishly smear everything with this delicacy.

Banana Ice Cream for Beautiful Bones

I ate this whole cup after the photo shoot.
It was 9:30 am.

I am addicted to this ice cream. It's the type of thing that is so good, it makes you want to cry.
Lately I have been fussing around with a roasted banana ice cream for a brownie sundae that will be making it's debut on my menu next week (with hot fudge, rum soaked golden raisins, and salted walnuts.... a single tear of joy rolls down my cheek). There are a plethora of banana ice cream recipes out there, but I couldn't find a single one that appealed to me. That's OK, nothing pumps me up like a good challenge. I wont go into the various different methods I fiddled with, for they will bore you. All you should care about is the final victory (which was my fourth attempt for those who are counting....and for those who are counting- get a fucking life.), which may be my finest ice cream achievement to date.... Please note that I say that a lot.

This recipe is also high in calcium, which makes it a prudent entry for Susan's blog event, beautiful bones- once again, I am submitting ice cream for a blog event. I promise you all more creativity in the future....

No I don't. I love ice cream and relish any chance I can get to eat too much of it.
But seriously, osteoporosis is something we should all try to avoid- especially us ladies, so our beloved Food Blogga is a champ for coming up with this event to promote awareness. There will be all kinds of bone strengthening recipes posted around the first of the month, so be sure to check out her blog for the round up.


start with ripe, yet not mushy naners



macerate with rum and lemon juice


Roast the bananas
...this is probably the ugliest picture ever to be seen on this blog
*hanging my head in shame*

Roasted Banana Ice Cream (recipe can be scaled down. I like to make a shitload)

Roasted Bananas:
6 ripe bananas
2 T Meyers dark rum
1 tsp lemon juice
1 T sugar

Peel and slice the bananas. Toss with the remaining ingredients and let macerate for 20 minutes. Turn on the broiler and lay the bananas out onto a silpat lined sheet pan (or spray a piece of parchment paper with pam) Roast until they begin to caramelize- about 5-10 minutes.

Ice cream base:
3 cups whole milk
6 cups heavy cream
3/4 cup sugar
roasted bananas (see recipe above)

18 egg yolks
1 tsp salt

1 1/2 oz. Meyer's dark rum

Scrape the roasted bananas into a pot. add the sugar, milk, and cream. Bring mixture to a boil, then remove from heat, cover, and let infuse for 2 hours.

Using a slotted spoon, remove the bananas and transfer to a food processor or blender. Puree until smooth, then whisk together with the egg yolks and salt.

Bring infused dairy to a boil and slowly temper the hot liquid into the yolks. Return to the pot and cook over medium low heat, stirring constantly with a heat proof spatula, until thickened (custard should be about 165 degrees). Strain custard into a container and chill. Once completely cold, stir in the rum and churn in a ice cream machine.


Next on The Pie Lady:
Food with colors!



A PS for my Mother: I only swore ONCE in this post.

Petis Fours- want some?

I have a refrigerator full of these things and a husband who hates cake...
Sigh.

Jenn, our anointed sovereign's monthly joust is here again. Do you guys realize that the winner now gets an apron with their blog name on it AND free Tupperware? Not to mention being able to brag to all their friends and a sweet logo for their blog.

At home in my kitchen, I wear a nappy, apron that I stole from a now defunct vegan hipster restaurant where I was once a cook. Complete with stains from curried tofu scrambles and textured vegetable protein sausage of yore.
Just sayin' is all.

Last month's winner and now proud owner of said apron and Tupperware was Elle who chose raspberries, lime, and almonds for our battling ingredients.
The Pacific Northwest is berry country. People in Michigan or wherever can argue this all they want (I have arguments about this all the time with our Michigan-born sous chef. Somehow when the first flat of local strawberries arrives, he sings a different tune.), but it's true. The berries up here are the shit..
....In July.
Needless to say, I was wary of planning a recipe around a sucky California berry. Luckily for me, I'm a genius. Last year, I was able to get my hands on a flat of local black raspberries. I turned them into a seedless compoty-freezer jam type concoction that I still have several jars of.
The Jousting wheels were turning.....

Garnished with the snubbed California raspberries that actually turned out to be really good. Not Washington good, but good.

I had announced on the forum that I would think outside the box and come up with a savory entry.
Lies.
The compote was wanting to be made into a dessert of some sort. So I entered Petis Fours country- not a zone for pastry pussies. After glazing your 112th teensy little cake, the urge to stab someone can come on pretty strong. I decided to scale down my recipe to a meager 24 petis fours. I ate one- they turned out delicious, and now I have 23 of them sitting in the fridge. Trevor wont touch them with a ten foot pole. They are a pastry- which he hates, and painfully girly. He wont admit to that being a factor in his disdain for dainty little tea cakes like this, but he's not kidding anyone but himself.

Heres how I made the little bastards:

Almond butter cake- sliced horizontally into 4 layers (makes 2 separate cakes)


Shmear with lime swiss buttercream and black raspberry compote


Sammich it together


Cut into quaint little squares, then glaze with lime fondant. Prepare to be doing this activity for a good hour. An episode of Deadwood makes for excellent company while performing this task. Hearing the word cocksucker coming out of my TV makes it so I don't have to shout the profanities myself

I am completely out of steam and cannot type this nonsense anymore. If you want the recipe for these ingredients, here is the link to my post on the forum.
I'm going to bed.

Shameless Plug

Mexican Chocolate Flan with Spicy Mango and Pepita Brittle

Readers who do not live in the Seattle area will find this post to be pretty boring. Sorry. You can just look at the pictures- which, lets face it, suck. I am just never going to be one of *those blogs* where every shot looks like it came straight out of a cookbook, complete with tea towels to match the food and theme appropriate dishes.
I'm busy.
One of these days I'll get around to reading the information booklet that came with the camera. But until then, the stuck up panel of judges at tastespotting can just bite me.

Unless they take bribes(?)....

I guess that little diatribe has been building up since I started this whole blogging thing. Thanks for listening.

But I did not sign on to be bitter. I come here today to give New Urban Eats a shout out, or "NUE" as the cool kids call it, which I most certainly am. This is the third installment of the Seattle restaurant program, the second go 'round for Betty, which would explain why my back hurts, my elbows are throbbing (my future arthritic sweet spot- looking forward to those good times), and when I close my eyes, all I can see are these flans.

You can't afford NOT to eat this

Allow me to further explain the NUE concept. For one month, 20 Seattle restaurants participate by featuring a prix fixe menu of 3 courses for 30 dollars. It's a ridiculously good deal, and it's not just some shitty sub-par plate of gruel the chef threw together to sell at a discount. At Betty, every choice presented to you for the prix fixe dinner can be found on our regular menu- same goes for my dessert options. I guarantee you will walk out of the place uncomfortably stuffed with delicious food.

But I am not going to shove just Betty down your throats, There are other really good places playing along with NUE.
I recently ate at Red Fin, a sushi joint downtown also participating in the event. I had grilled crab legs to start, the chef sushi platter for an entree (fucking huge plate of sashimi and sushi), and honey cardamom creme brulee (oh yeah, a bottle or 2 of warm sake, sadly not included in the discount). It was enough food for 2 people, and a 30 dollar tab at red fin is usually unheard of.

painfully addicting pepita brittle. I get my daily sugar intake 15 minutes after I get to work and start testing this stuff for "quality control"

So in short, Seattleites- get out there and eat! You have exactly 10 days left- well, 8 days- it is not offered on Fridays or Saturdays. We are already having our asses handed to us on weekends. I think we would very likely go insane if we were also offering a prix fixe.
But seriously, times are tough. We all know that. It seems like dining out is one of the first sacrifices one makes when faced with 4$/gallon gas (insert "fuck you dubya" comment here) and a housing crisis, and all the other fretful things going on in the world. But for a brief period, there is some relief from your restaurant bill, should you chose to take advantage of it.


Looking for a recipe?
Sorry. I kind of have to protect myself when it comes to items on my dessert menu. Especially when it comes to this flan, which took me almost the entire month of April to perfect. I will tell you about it though. I infuse the dairy with orange zest, ancho chile, coco nibs, and cinnamon. Later I add good bittersweet chocolate and kahlua. The mango is simply dowsed in chile infused simple syrup. Pepita brittle is nothing more than cooked sugar and pumpkin seeds.
There. Feel better?

SHF #43- citrus therapy

I must start this post with the caveat that I am having quite the craptacular week. Nothing major or life threatening- just a lot of little annoyances that have been piling on steadily....One highlight I am willing to share includes the tearing of the seat of my pants while I was at work. Nothing like showing your ass to your male co-workers to bring you down off your high horse. Good times.
People with real problems should feel free to tell me to fuck off. Or as my dear husband says after listening to me piss and moan for a day or two- "get over yourself and quit being so pms-ey." God I love that man.

Anyway- I was going to put off my contribution to Sugar High Friday, for a few more weeks so I could focus on some recipes for work. Then I found out Helene, aka Tartlette, aka blogging superstar (I dare you to find a food blog without her included in the blog roll. Yeah, she rocks), was hosting this month and chose citrus as the theme. Citrus is so bright and cheerful. How could it not pull me out of my self-indulgent funk?

My recipe this month is definitely a little ray of sunshine. I morphed a Pierre Herme (also known as God) lemon cream into a citrus brulee tart served with caramel syrup and sugared pine nuts. Those who are unfamiliar with Pierre, or his lemon cream should be ashamed of themselves. Those who are, know that it's basically lemon curd with a pound of butter whooped into it. The final product sets up to a creamy custard-like consistency. I am almost always using it in some form on my menu. Fold in a little whipped cream and becomes a pillowy filling for strawberry shortcake. Sandwich it between layers of lemon chiffon cake, or mix it with mascarpone to dollop on top of gingerbread...It will sexify any thing. I promise.

A pound of butter will make it all okay



This version of the recipe uses the zest of lemons, limes, and grapefruit, and the juice of just lemons and limes. Including the grapefruit juice made it too sweet, so I had to reduce the sugar, but then it wouldn't set up properly....You know a recipe is good when it's been fiddled with about half a dozen times. The final product is the perfect happy medium. It's not too sweet and the three citrus flavors are well pronounced. I served mine in a lemon-cornmeal crust, and the sugared pine nuts are a nice balance to the tang.(I said tang) Now add a crackly brulee top crust, and you have attitude adjustment on a plate.

Citrus Brulee Tart
adapted from Pierre Herme

1- 12" pre baked tart shell

1# good quality butter, cut into small pieces and softened
zest of 1 grapefruit, 2 lemons, and 2 limes
1 1/3 cup sugar
4 oz lime juice
5 oz lemon juice
7 eggs
1 egg yolk


A very useful toy

Place the sugar in a bowl (large enough to fit over a pan of simmering water). Zest all citrus fruits into the sugar. Using gloved hands, rub the zest into the sugar until it is moist and fragrant. Add citrus juice to the sugar as well as the eggs. Whisk to combine.
Place mixture over a pot of simmering water and cook, whisking constantly until it reaches 180-182 degrees on a thermometer. Immediately remove from water bath and strain into a bowl (this both removes any curdled egg and zest and also cools the mixture slightly).
Transfer mixture to a food processor and add the butter, a few pieces at a time with the machine running. Once all of the butter is added, continue processing for 1-2 minutes.
Pour mixture into a bowl. Fold gently with a spatula and tap against the counter to pop air bubbles. Finally, slowly pour into the pre baked tart shell. Carefully place tart in the refrigerator and chill uncovered for several hours or over night before slicing into 14 pieces. To serve, sprinkle each slice evenly with sugar, then brulee it with a blow torch or under a broiler.

It would have been better with nuts....

It was still delicious, but my sister is anti-nut unless it's an almond or a hazelnut. Both of which were conveniently absent from her pantry shelf. We were going to the store for buttermilk, where nuts are easily obtained. But, no. She was determined to have this rhubarb bread come out nut free. Her kitchen, her rules....fascist.

Lonely lonely rhubarb
That's okay. Lucky for her, this is the most versatile and forgiving quick bread recipe of all time. Plus, she had just given me a really cool rug and a bunch of clothes (my sister Brooke is a clothes whore. Seriously. She was trying to give me stuff that still had the tags on it. Every time I see her, she has bags full of items to unload on me so that she can clear space in her closet for more f'ing clothes. I would suggest an intervention if her illness were not so beneficial to yours truly....is that bad? But honestly- In 8 years, the only articles I've had to buy for myself are chef pants and birkenstocks. Pretty much everything else comes from her. And she has good taste to boot.) so I wasn't going to throw down over something as petty as a nut. But walnut fans will be pleased to know that I did voice my opinion...several times.


You have no idea how good this smells. See the scented steam a-wafting out the top? Oh yeah.
Despite all that, I had such a delightful day with the sibling. She and her boyfriend, CK, just bought a house in the ridiculously quaint, historic downtown area of Everett. It's about 30 miles north of the less quaint, more crowded, and much snootier queen anne neighborhood of Seattle, where I live (I still love you Sea-town, you just piss me off sometimes). Everett is the type of town where everybody knows each other. We had brunch at an adorable cafe, where the owner is Brooke's new neighbor. Later, we had pints and salads at the Irish pub where she and CK attend(and sometimes win, cuz CK be all smart and stuff) trivia night once a week. The small town vibe has become foreign to me, so it almost felt like a mini vacation. I also fell in love with Brooke's new, enormous and light-filled kitchen. Complete with a dishwasher (also foreign to me) and a breakfast nook. Like her mother before her, Brooke's whole house is beautifully decorated, one of the umpteen reasons why I refer to her as the "talented one"- but the kitchen and I hit it right off. I refused to go home with out baking something in there for her boyfriend, who would be returning from teaching rock climbing lessons (or something environmental and hippi-ish like that) that night, tired and hungry. I would have found any excuse to play in there, but CK's weary return with a rumbling tummy immediately tugged at her heartstrings.

So, we made rhubarb bread. Here is the recipe. Please note that it is better with 3/4cup of toasted, chopped walnuts. If you are smart, and are adding the nuts, reduce the flour to 2 3/4 cups.

Rhubarb Bread adapted from Kate's mom (for inquiring minds, Kate is my old boss)

1 1/2 cups dark brown sugar (we have discovered that dark brown makes it noticeably superior. But use light if you must)
1 egg
6oz. melted butter
1 cup buttermilk
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
3 cups flour
2 cups sliced rhubarb


Topping:
2 T butter
1/2 cup granulated sugar

Sugary-buttery topping.This stuff is basically crack.
Pre heat oven to 350. In a large bowl, whisk together the egg, brown sugar, and butter. In a separate bowl, whisk the buttermilk salt and baking soda, then add to brown sugar mixture and whisk to combine. Add the flour and mix until just combined, then fold in the rhubarb. Pour into a greased loaf pan and set aside while you make the topping. In a small bowl, combine the granulated sugar with the 2 T butter. Mash with a fork until crumbly, then sprinkle over the batter. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes, then turn oven down to 325 and continue baking for 20-25 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool completely (overnight if possible- it's never possible...) before slicing and wolfing down.


Brookey Likey.